You don’t have to wait for validation for your turn to feel. You can control how long you wait and how much you put up with while you do. Even if others need you. If you have not given to yourself, what you’re offering them is a husk of a person left after everyone else has already had their turn to pick your emotions dry.

Life is full of expectations. And I think, for the longest time, I didn’t realize that many of them were not mine. As I am turning 30, I reflect on what I have accomplished so far, and naturally, beat myself up for what I haven’t. That is, until I realized that the expectations that were lacking were not things I ever wanted for myself to begin with.

Although I am extremely fortunate in my life right now with how my family understands my mental health challenges, my prior family would shame me for being “needy” or “too sensitive" making it important that I made my self-care inconspicuous. That’s why I wanted to offer a list of gifts that are incredible on their own, but great discrete mental health helpers too.

Eventually, we realized the only place that two nerds like us would spend a long time traveling to would be Japan. We always assumed it was an impossible trip due to our chronic illnesses. Between the two of us we share a basket full, and Panic Disorder is included in my husband’s portion.  

While I do not define myself by my diagnoses, I have found that I do better when the people surrounding me are understanding, forgiving and generally those who assume the best in others. I hope to reflect such kind traits in my own behavior too. It took a lot of thinking before I was able to identify what truly matters when it comes to building friendships.