Asking for Validation to Cope With Feeling Like You're Not Doing Enough
You don’t have to wait for validation for your turn to feel. You can control how long you wait and how much you put up with while you do. Even if others need you. If you have not given to yourself, what you’re offering them is a husk of a person left after everyone else has already had their turn to pick your emotions dry.
15 Things I Was Told I HAD To Accomplish Before 30 ... And 15 I Actually Did
Life is full of expectations. And I think, for the longest time, I didn’t realize that many of them were not mine. As I am turning 30, I reflect on what I have accomplished so far, and naturally, beat myself up for what I haven’t. That is, until I realized that the expectations that were lacking were not things I ever wanted for myself to begin with.
Gifts I Would Love to Receive As Someone Living With Anxiety and Depression
Although I am extremely fortunate in my life right now with how my family understands my mental health challenges, my prior family would shame me for being “needy” or “too sensitive" making it important that I made my self-care inconspicuous. That’s why I wanted to offer a list of gifts that are incredible on their own, but great discrete mental health helpers too.
How To Travel To Tokyo When You Have Panic Disorder
Eventually, we realized the only place that two nerds like us would spend a long time traveling to would be Japan. We always assumed it was an impossible trip due to our chronic illnesses. Between the two of us we share a basket full, and Panic Disorder is included in my husband’s portion.
Being A Good Friend To Someone With Depression and Anxiety
While I do not define myself by my diagnoses, I have found that I do better when the people surrounding me are understanding, forgiving and generally those who assume the best in others. I hope to reflect such kind traits in my own behavior too. It took a lot of thinking before I was able to identify what truly matters when it comes to building friendships.
4 Tips to Help You Fall Asleep
Having chronic, diagnosed depression and anxiety means sleep is often an elusive concept. It also means that’s it’s incredibly crucial I get my full rest, otherwise the exhaustion makes it a lot harder to tackle the following day’s intrusive thoughts.Here’s the list of best practices I have collected over the past ten years that have helped me cope. I hope something in the following list resonates and perhaps even helps.
Why You Should Be Your Own Friend
We work hard to be kind. Good people don't bully others. But it seems they often don’t mind being bullies to themselves. And that's exactly how self-loathing grows. Who enjoys spending time with someone who offers hatred and bitterness when it’s so much more pleasant to be encouraged, loved and supported? I have found that working on becoming my own friend has helped me in many ways...
Am I Afraid of the Dark?
I don’t know what I am afraid of more: darkness, loneliness, or the silence they both can bring with them. Once the lights go off, my brain churns in overtime. The shadows shift into something that isn’t there, and all my biggest fears seem to be real. For me, the dark is the time for each memory to play out anew.
7 Common Signs It’s Time to Actually See a Therapist
Not only is there still a lot of stigma surrounding mental health, but the nature of some illnesses is that it’s easy enough to assume you have it under control, that you’re fine or insert your excuse here. That's why it's hard to argue with someone if they believe they are truly ok.
How to Finally 'Take The Leap' In Three Steps
Before I broke up my goals, I was facing a roaring river, attempting to run across without drowning or getting hurt. With each goal, it was as if I set a stone. Once I jumped onto that stone, I placed another one before stepping forward. And so on, until I was on a path, with so much determination, that there was no way I was returning to the same shore. Even if I am not sure what is on the other shore, I knew I wanted to start moving towards it.
Anxiety Relief Kit Part III
Alright, I’ve made a few posts (See Part One and Two ) about my Anti-Anxiety Kit at this point. It’s a summarized list of things (physical and emotional) I have used over the years to help cope with my symptoms as they happened. When I started running, I would lose breath after a 100 yards and fall to my knees, dizzy without oxygen. I got upset and cried because I just wanted to jog. Running was supposed to help me learn how to breathe and make my anxiety better, but instead, it felt like it broke me.
Cover Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash
No, You Can't Just Suck It Up When You're Depressed
When I am depressed, I tend to avoid reading about other people’s symptoms, because it is usually too painful or hits too close to home. Even though I know so many of us feel the same way, when I am down, I often just want to unplug and not think about the stigma, the pain, and all the other problems that come along with mental illness. However, as if on cue, I will come across stuff like this:
A Letter To My Depression
You won last night. I would say I hope you’re happy, but of course, I already know you’re not. Even though you left in a huff, satisfied with how you escalated things, I know you’ll be back. This morning I got the fight back in me and I’m mad about how you behaved. It seems silly to be communicating like this, but I wanted to get this letter out to you before you came back, so that you know where we stand going forward.
Why I Continue Fighting Having Mental Illness
I talk about going to the doctor, being diagnosed and admitting to having a problem as the first steps towards feeling better. I also would be lying, if I said I was okay with my illness. I go through spurts of being exceedingly angry with myself. Mad at my brain. My body. My genetics. But mostly, I am mad at the disease.
What It Costs To Have Anxiety
Most people can never truly understand the currency of anxiety. Each letter typed is worth about 3 negative thoughts. Now before you get worried about the negative-thought-to-word conversion rate, perhaps wait for me to lay it out below. And if you’re that concerned, maybe it’s because you would like to know what the conversation will leave you with in your own struggle?
--Photo by Tristan Gassert on Unsplash
What a Flashback Feels Like
Imagine a big storage case, with a ton of clips sitting inside and when you recall one, your brain works like a vending machine to dispense it to your consciousness.
With flashbacks, or in my case, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, the vending machine is broken and releases too many clips out at once, or starts dispensing them without someone placing an order, at the wrong time. Anything I have lived through can be easily accessed at any moment. Good or bad memories—the brain is dispensing without regard.