Life is full of expectations. And I think, for the longest time, I didn’t realize that many of them were not mine. As I am turning 30, I reflect on what I have accomplished so far, and naturally, beat myself up for what I haven’t. That is, until I realized that the expectations that were lacking were not things I ever wanted for myself to begin with.

During an episode after another celebrity passing from suicide, the community of Mxiety On Twitch wanted to put together their symptoms (or red flags) that let them know something might be wrong. Here is that list, it is by no means conclusive but might be a good start for those who want to know what to look for in their loved ones who live with depression.

At the end of the day, please confer with your doctor and do not diagnose yourself based on this list alone.

Knowing what’s brewing inside your brain might not change much of your day-to-day, but it can certainly put you at ease from the fear that you are an other – too different to be helped, too odd to ever live a normal life. It shouldn’t be what defines you, but in a world of labels, it’s much more powerful to affix one upon yourself than to have to fight against anything someone might assume upon you.