You don’t have to wait for validation for your turn to feel. You can control how long you wait and how much you put up with while you do. Even if others need you. If you have not given to yourself, what you’re offering them is a husk of a person left after everyone else has already had their turn to pick your emotions dry.

The voice in your mind telling you that you’re a failure, that you don’t matter, that you are stupid or ugly, isn’t yours to carry around anymore.

10 years from now it will be June 16, 2031 (HOLY SH) and I will be 40 years old (ALSO HOLY SH) which is silly a thing to write since you already know what date and year it is, I should just get to the all the good stuff and questions and reminders I have for you. I know you’re gonna cry too, so I hope you grabbed tissues.

What I found as a result of my search was another dose of perspective, similar to that which came from writing the aforementioned letter. I don’t know if handwriting is still a live form of journaling, I am sure all the cool kids keep theirs digitally. Writing, journaling, etc. offer a unique form of perspective that doctors have long confirmed to be incredibly helpful for mental health because it keeps you letting things out, helps in organizing thoughts, and provides a place to put emotions which may not be welcome. Writing is a powerful defense which took me about twenty years too long to pick up again.

Cover image by: Photo by Olia Gozha on Unsplash

Due to the chronic nature of my illnesses, I have seen many doctors. Over time, I have learned what kind of care works best for me. I am not here to admonish any one specialty, but rather celebrate those doctors that stand above the rest, to provide great care and fulfill their Hippocratic oath thoroughly.

To help you wade through and shorten the process of finding the right care for you, I have put together a helpful list of what to avoid and what to embrace in a doctor.