I don’t think my father will ever be able to say the sorry I need from him to heal, so I wrote it myself, conveying it as best as I could based on what I know his capacity to be. “Every time you’ve tried to talk to me and make repairs, you’re asking for a lot of vulnerability. I can’t fix the past. I can’t fix how I’ve been. But admitting fault would mean I also have to work on myself in the future.”

This World Mental Health Day marks the 6 year anniversary of starting Mxiety as a blog with live streams dedicated to advocating for openness in mental health. Inevitably, this means nostalgia, introspection, and thoughts about the future have made home in my mind for the time being. Here they are laid out to make sense from

10 years from now it will be June 16, 2031 (HOLY SH) and I will be 40 years old (ALSO HOLY SH) which is silly a thing to write since you already know what date and year it is, I should just get to the all the good stuff and questions and reminders I have for you. I know you’re gonna cry too, so I hope you grabbed tissues.

Already, in order to wake up and have a chance at a productive, I need to think of every inch of my body. If I don’t do this my brain will run haywire and might suddenly decide I don’t have enough air to breathe. But hey, I could just smile, right.