15 Things I Was Told I HAD To Accomplish Before 30 ... And 15 I Actually Did
Life is full of expectations. And I think, for the longest time, I didn’t realize that many of them were not mine. As I am turning 30, I reflect on what I have accomplished so far, and naturally, beat myself up for what I haven’t. That is, until I realized that the expectations that were lacking were not things I ever wanted for myself to begin with.
Gifts I Would Love to Receive As Someone Living With Anxiety and Depression
Although I am extremely fortunate in my life right now with how my family understands my mental health challenges, my prior family would shame me for being “needy” or “too sensitive" making it important that I made my self-care inconspicuous. That’s why I wanted to offer a list of gifts that are incredible on their own, but great discrete mental health helpers too.
Giving Myself Permission To Feel Better
If I am completely honest, I kind of thought that once I had gathered the courage to talk about my feelings with a stranger, that would be all I needed. That was the work. Sitting across the room from a therapist and reliving my nightmares was not easy. How could it that not be enough?
Being A Good Friend To Someone With Depression and Anxiety
While I do not define myself by my diagnoses, I have found that I do better when the people surrounding me are understanding, forgiving and generally those who assume the best in others. I hope to reflect such kind traits in my own behavior too. It took a lot of thinking before I was able to identify what truly matters when it comes to building friendships.
How We Talk About Weight Loss
It recently happened that I lost 20 lbs or 9 kg in six months. After having to replace my wardrobe and getting used to seeing my new form in the mirror, one thing I never expected was that the women I talked to about this would immediately respond to my concern with jealousy.
4 Tips to Help You Fall Asleep
Having chronic, diagnosed depression and anxiety means sleep is often an elusive concept. It also means that’s it’s incredibly crucial I get my full rest, otherwise the exhaustion makes it a lot harder to tackle the following day’s intrusive thoughts.Here’s the list of best practices I have collected over the past ten years that have helped me cope. I hope something in the following list resonates and perhaps even helps.
Am I Afraid of the Dark?
I don’t know what I am afraid of more: darkness, loneliness, or the silence they both can bring with them. Once the lights go off, my brain churns in overtime. The shadows shift into something that isn’t there, and all my biggest fears seem to be real. For me, the dark is the time for each memory to play out anew.
7 Common Signs It’s Time to Actually See a Therapist
Not only is there still a lot of stigma surrounding mental health, but the nature of some illnesses is that it’s easy enough to assume you have it under control, that you’re fine or insert your excuse here. That's why it's hard to argue with someone if they believe they are truly ok.
How to Finally 'Take The Leap' In Three Steps
Before I broke up my goals, I was facing a roaring river, attempting to run across without drowning or getting hurt. With each goal, it was as if I set a stone. Once I jumped onto that stone, I placed another one before stepping forward. And so on, until I was on a path, with so much determination, that there was no way I was returning to the same shore. Even if I am not sure what is on the other shore, I knew I wanted to start moving towards it.
Anxiety Relief Kit Part IV
We've reached the end of 2017 the Anxiety Relief series (for now). Anxiety sucks when I am trying to walk outside and enjoy a nice, summer day. Or when I am in the checkout lane trying to leave a store. But it’s more frustrating when I’m in a crowded subway or about to enter a job interview. On days when my brain chemistry is all out of whack, anxiety doesn’t care what I’m doing. It just sucks.
Image by: VIKTOR HANACEK for picjumbo
Anxiety Relief Kit Part II
All it takes is being around too many people and, in the words of the wise Jack Sparrow, “we have our heading.” And it’s direction is down.
To cope, I have subconsciously been collecting an Anti-Anxiety Kit: a combination of things and ideas that help soothe the bad moments and distract my mind from itself. In case it helps someone else, I wanted to share it here. Considering we have Christmas just around the corner, it seems timely!
A Letter To My Depression
You won last night. I would say I hope you’re happy, but of course, I already know you’re not. Even though you left in a huff, satisfied with how you escalated things, I know you’ll be back. This morning I got the fight back in me and I’m mad about how you behaved. It seems silly to be communicating like this, but I wanted to get this letter out to you before you came back, so that you know where we stand going forward.
Why I Continue Fighting Having Mental Illness
I talk about going to the doctor, being diagnosed and admitting to having a problem as the first steps towards feeling better. I also would be lying, if I said I was okay with my illness. I go through spurts of being exceedingly angry with myself. Mad at my brain. My body. My genetics. But mostly, I am mad at the disease.
What It Costs To Have Anxiety
Most people can never truly understand the currency of anxiety. Each letter typed is worth about 3 negative thoughts. Now before you get worried about the negative-thought-to-word conversion rate, perhaps wait for me to lay it out below. And if you’re that concerned, maybe it’s because you would like to know what the conversation will leave you with in your own struggle?
--Photo by Tristan Gassert on Unsplash