Mxiety: The Origin Story

Hello visitors, Mxiety here.

I know you can skip ahead by reading my About the Author page, but since you’re here…

Thank you for coming. You guys are amazing. There’s probably all of five of you right now, so you’re extra awesome for stopping by.

Right now, all I can think of is how I should stop. Give up before I start. After all, what could I possibly know? Who cares what I have to say? I am actively considering freaking out, and starting over from scratch. But I am done listening to the paralyzing anxiety.

There’s a purpose to this blog. It occurred to me while I was sobbing and gasping for air. Clutching a pillow, screaming into it, wishing all the pain in my mind could just go away. A little lightbulb went off in my head. Who else was out there, feeling this pain? Feeling like there was no hope?  Then I looked over to my husband. He was trying to help but was all out of ideas. There just wasn’t anything he could physically do. How many people were in his situation, feeling fine but unable to understand what the heck is up with their loved one? For the first time in a long while I got out of bed with a purpose.

I decided to keep writing, adding my thoughts and my story to the chorus of people speaking up about their experience with mental illness. You know…in case it’s helpful to know that you are not alone, you’re not that weird, and that all of the above is okay.

I decided to do some research on how to handle mental illness and found that:

  • There wasn’t much out there.
  • The stuff that was easiest to find was full of misconceptions.

The first issue, lack of information, is slowly changing. With a simple keyword search, it’s easy to find social media accounts and private facebook groups, with people telling their story to raise awareness, offering comforting thoughts, working to reduce the stigma because they understand the pain.

I am grateful to those sharing their stories. I acknowledge that most biographical blogs (including this one) are made up of personal examples and opinions. What I am worried about are those who take their experiences/opinions/thoughts and put them out as facts. I know I’m not perfect, but I am making it my personal mission to back up any factual statements I make with credible research whenever possible, and will ask everyone who joins my vodcasts to adhere to this same, simple rule.

I made To Share Stories To:

  1.  Let You Know That You Are Not Alone If You're Not Feeling Well
  2. Help You Find Ways to Cope and Understand Mental Illness Better
  3. Remove The Stigma Surrounding Mental Health By Reinforcing The First Point

I am hoping to be a distraction, but also offer ideas about what to do when you’re feeling sh**ty. Tangible things. Something that’s not just “think happy thoughts!” That’s why my vodcasts will largely focus on my attempts to be crafty. I'll be asking my guests to share things they find soothing and attempt them together with them. I say attempt because while I find it soothing, but I really am not great at most things that involve intricate handwork. Hopefully it won't make me cuss too much.I don’t want you to ever have to feel alone or broken or not worthy of love. And I want those who love you to know what to do when all of the above happens at once.

Since we're going ahead, let me translate some Mxiety vernacular, so we can all start on the same page. Sure, many of these have official psychological diagnoses, but I am not a doctor, so I won’t go pretending I can properly name them. Plus, I am sure these are way easier to spell.

Brain Trash: All the noise created in our minds by compulsive, racing thoughts. Forcing you to focus your energy on debunking them and talking yourself down instead of enjoying [insert any activity here].

Depression Monster: The evil being that pulls you into darkness just as you started feeling like things are looking up. It lives in a deep hole and feeds on recurring mean thoughts you have about yourself.

In It: the act of your mind leaving reality to just stew in horrible thoughts that are likely not real.

MeanPat: The antithesis of my husband, who is a caring, loving, patient man. Unlike the real one, MeanPat does, says and thinks things that the real one could never come up with even on his worst day. These imagined worst-case scenarios often make me very upset (and likely anxious) without any proof that any of them could occur in real life.

Doggo/Corgo: These are terms first used by the twitter account @dog_rates. They are not bad, but they’ll likely be confusing if you’ve never heard them before. I will be using them to reference my dog, a corgi named Flynn.


That about covers it, for now. The whole point of this outlet is that I get to keep talking, so let’s figure out the rest as we go together.

Hope to see you back soon!